


Shadows of a twisted hatred

by Lohare



Series: Of A Thousand Life Times [2]
Category: Destiny (Video Games)
Genre: Anger, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, Drama & Romance, F/F, F/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:48:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28519659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lohare/pseuds/Lohare
Summary: Immortality is a curse. The older a guardian gets, the more they come to understand this. Over countless lifetimes, watching the ones they swore to protect pass, watching the lights of their fellow guardians be extinguished. It takes its toll. Continuation of Bastion.
Series: Of A Thousand Life Times [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1453630
Kudos: 1





	Shadows of a twisted hatred

The dry, desolate mountain peaks hummed their lullaby into the distant easterly winds; in a place so close to the remainder of civilization; yet one that felt a thousand miles away.

It was here Dane sat, her hood pulled over her head and her back against the rock-face engraved with the symbols and names of countless hunters. Hidden away from the weary eyes of the vanguard and curious gaze of the city-folk, nestled far enough in the mountains that only a guardian might reach it and only whispered about through the underground hunter networks. 

It was the grave of Asta, the Young Wolf.

The righteous hunter who had ventured into the black garden, the one who defeated Oryx the taken king and the one who gave his life to stop Ghaul and bring the light back to the guardians of the last city and beyond.  
And the one she’d called a mentor, and friend.

Dane let a long sigh fall from her lips, watching as an endless sky of clouds and faint stars rolled overhead like a mesmerizingly beautiful painting. Somewhere in those distant stars Ryder was waging a war on the reef, tearing it apart to find Cayde’s killer.

“You always knew what to do...” She whispered to herself, pulling her hood further over her head. 

Ryder had been the one to find her and bring her safely to the last city, almost wordlessly; dragging her back without barely a clue of who or what she was or even where she was. However it had been the young wolf who had shown her what it meant to be a guardian, who had truly showed her the power of the light. It was his hand that had steadied her aim, that had taught her how to use a knife, that pushed her further than she could of ever gone on her own. It had been the two of them who stayed up late in dive bars, who got themselves into antics; who fought side by side as brother and sister always under Ryder’s stoic gaze.

Even when she trailed behind, far behind the power of Ryder and even further behind Asta’s she felt included; felt useful.

Right now, she felt like a burden.

Even as Mirr and Callen arrived in the last city, quickly catching up to her and surpassing her, they both continued to watch over and spur her on; pushing her to reach new heights with her power she didn’t think she could reach. But since Asta’s death, things had changed.

She was just... another problem.

The distant howl of winds brought her back to her reality; to the small memorial that sat apart from her. Asta’s helmet, worn and battered, set alongside his Hawkmoon hand-cannon. “I couldn’t keep up with you, nobody could, but you always slowed down so we could catch up...” Dane whispered, pulling her Better Devil’s free and trying to twirl it around her fingers the same way Asta used to.

The gun slipped, clattering to the ground next to her.

Dane dropped her head to her knees, pulling them tight against her chest. “Ryder is strong, but she can’t take on the whole reef. It was my foolishness that got Ryder into this mess. What am I supposed to do?” Dane asked, watching idly as her long, jet black hair blew in the breeze as a stark contrast to the rocks and snow.

“Go after her.” Came an all too familiar voice.

Dane snapped her head up, seeing Mirr and Callen stood above her. Callen held her better devil’s, turning the gun over with a curious eye. 

“It’s so light, I always wondered how you were able to draw so quick...” He spoke more idly to himself than anybody, before receiving a sharp elbow to his ribs. “Ow! What was that for?!” Callen barked, both of them knowing full well he probably hadn’t even felt it.

Mirr kneeled in front of her, lifting her chin up with the gentlest touch. A soft sigh fell from the warlocks lips, her hand moving to cup her cheek. The faintest hint of a smile graced her features, followed by a soft chuckle.

“How did you guys...?” Dane asked bewildered.

“Huh? Oh the memorial? We all know about it, just doesn’t seem right for a titan or a warlock to leave their mark here you know?” Called boomed, scratching at the back of his head awkwardly. The giant of a man laughed, his voice echoing throughout the very mountains.

“Dane, my sweet, look at me.” Mirr whispered, receiving a hazelnut gaze sown with a hundred years of worry and grief. “You’ve chased those two for as long as I’ve known you, pushing yourself into their shadow but Guardians are so much more than just great warriors and you are so much more than you give yourself credit for.” Mirr whispered, her cerulean gaze washing over Dane in a loving warmth that they had always shared. 

“But I’ll just get in her way...” Dane whispered flatly, bringing her hand up to Mirr’s.

“Nonesense. You are the very heart and soul of this fireteam, even as much as you put yourself down. None of us have ventured as far from the tower as you, none of us have seen as much as you and certainly neither of us are as adept as you. You’re chasing a path you can’t follow, my dearest.” Mirr retorted, her words like the softest of velvet against the distant howls of the mountain.

“You know she’s right, I mean it’s Mirr. She’s always right.” Callen joined in, toothy grin to match the sharp glare Mirr gave him. “But seriously, Ryder’s been around since the dark ages and Asta... well you knew what he was like!” Callen boomed, handing Dane back her Better Devil’s.

Dane took it weakly, feeling the balance of the frame in her grip. It was her pride and joy and carried with it Asta’s inherited will. It was his long before it was ever hers.

“Holliday has agreed for your ship to go out for a ‘test flight’, we’ll distract Zavalla in the mean time but you need to promise me something Dane.” Mirr whispered, her voice falling away as her words continued on.

“Anything.” Dane whispered in return, feeling that sense of warmth wash over her through Mirr’s touch.

“The both of you need to come back to us. We’ve lost Asta and now Cayde, I can’t bear the thought of loosing you too. Keep your senses right and keep your hand on your gun. The reef is a dangerous place, made even more hostile thanks to Uldren and Ryder. My...former people are not fond of us guardians either.” Mirr warned, her words slowly turning to rambles as panic rose in her voice.

Dane had wrapped her arms around Mirr before she’d really even thought about it.

“I’ll be safe, I promise.” Dane whispered.

“You better be...” 

\-----------------------------------------

The Tangled Shore, the reef.

Ryder’s world was a bloody, hazy mess.

Below her laid the rifleman Pirrha, her rifle snapped in two and her body broken; little much left from her than a pained wheeze of a bloodstained floor surrounded by the corpses of her brothers and sisters in arms.

Yet, the scorn baron cackled, laughed in the face of the battle-scarred Titan who towered above her in her broken, chipped armor; painted as black as midnight but stained with the blood of her people.

“I don’t know what you find so funny.” Ryder snarled, moving her finger to the trigger of Crimson. The side of her helmet, a replica of Saint 14’s, had been blown clean off revealing a face stained in blood beneath. Rage burned in her cerulean gaze, piercing through the hollow dusk of the room.

Then Crimson rang out, its distinctive three shots finding their mark.

What followed was a sinking, gnawing emptiness that flooded Ryder’s mind; it was a familiar feeling, a grim reminder of the shadows she’d buried in her past. There was nothing there but a cold emptiness as she turned away, limping back towards the entrance she’d broken in through.

Her ghost, PB, made herself visible as Ryder struggled to lift her leg up the stairs. The rifleman had got a lucky shot in at her knee not long before the end of the battle, along with the various other wounds the scorn had managed to inflict. Most of it fell to burns and cracked limbs that left a dull ache across her body that she had become numb to in the countless years she’d walked this forsaken solar system.

“Let me help you with that!” PB offered, her shell painted white and gold in remembrance of... him. Her cheerful bright tone brought the stoic, unmoving gaze of her partner towards her. The titan wondered how the little ghost kept up that positivity, as far back as she could remember it had been that same little bright spark that chased the echoes of her mind.

“What did I tell you PB?” Ryder asked, the halls echoing as her boot dragged along its metal surface. 

To tell the truth: Ryder could barely see where she was going. A vague sense of muscle memory guided her through the hallways as her vision swam in a bloody, murky haze. The burning pain was the only thing keeping her conscious. 

“I should always stay hidden until we’re back at the ship!” PB retorted, her shell spinning as warm light washed over Ryder; a feeling similar to a long hot shower after a hard day of work. Some of her wounds began to heal, bones resetting themselves as paracausal energy ran through them. “I know the reef is dangerous, but well... everything is dead!” She added in a voice that could only be compared to sunflowers and a summer breeze. 

It was then that Ryder heard a distinct insect like chittering further down the hall, followed by heavy footsteps. 

“Quick! Hide PB!” Ryder snapped, pushing the ghost away and out of sight as colossal frame of The Fanatic rounded the corner, matching his strides behind the smug smirk of Uldren Sov cast in the dim midnight haze of the reef.

“Ahh, so this is the guardian that has been rampaging through the reef.” Uldren crowed, spinning the ace of spades in his grip; the sight alone like a knife to Ryder’s chest. Rage blinded her to the situation causing her to draw Crimson upwards, ready to pull the trigger before a bolt of lightning shot it out of her hand; shattering the gun into a million pieces and throwing her to the floor.  
Her world spun in dark, sickening spirals as her body hit the floor hard, her head cracking against the cold metal floor; searing pain rushing through every inch of her body as she fought to remain conscious. Uldren died, right here and now.  
Then the Ace fired.

She felt the bullet rip through her gut, howling in pain as the darkness stormed in from every corner. She tried to resist, tried her best to force herself up even as blood began to pool in her mouth, but she couldn’t. As the darkness overtook her vision, her weak gaze found its way to Uldren; bitter hatred brewed in the pit of her stomach. But it wasn’t him holding the gun above her, instead she saw herself; shadowed by spectral figures she knew belong to Orion, Ozar-4, Asta and now... Dane. 

She’d failed Dane, just like she had failed the others.

\------------------------------------------------- 

Dane and her ghost, Cheesecake, had flown to the reef in silence. There was a heaviness to the air in the cockpit that weighed on their shoulders with tension and fear, calmed only by the various golden age memorabilia and knickknacks Dane had collected over the years.

Cheesecake floated down next to her as the solar system passed them by, following Dane’s hazel gaze to a small picture half hidden behind the pieces of her old scout rifle. Mirr had snapped the photo while they had all been on shore leave in the city, a rare feat for the likes of Asta and Ryder. Dane reached for the picture, a warm smile gracing her features as she picked it up, blowing the thin layer of dust off of it.

Zavala Always told them to remember who it was you were fighting for and they’d done just that. Spent a day in the city, visiting the sights, hearing the sounds and tasting the food. She rarely said it, but it was one of her most cherished memories. 

Asta had the goofiest of grins, holding his hand up to make cat ears behind Ryder who towered over them with a stoic, stern expression while herself and Callen pulled silly faces; Mirr was the closest, adorned in her natural glow that seemed so flawless to her love struck gaze. Even their ghosts were there. Cheesecake, PB, chonk, Savannnah and Ghost.

“That was a nice day, it’s always good to have a day off.” Cheesecake popped up, twirling around Dane. He always loved to do what he called dancing, as much as a ghost could dance. It never failed to make Dane smile.

“With everything that has happened, it’s been hard to find time to relax.” Dane admitted, a sigh falling from her lips as she tucked the picture back. “The red war, the vex, the hive on mars. We’re surrounded by threats.” Dane added, watching as hints of light fell over the cockpit. 

“But with our friends by our side, we can always keep on going!” Cheesecake retorted, his cheery voice lost on Dane for once as her mind fell to Asta and Cayde.

“Yeah, maybe...” She whispered, anxiety washing over her as she thought about those she’d lost and the ones she could lose.

The further they flew the more it dawned on the pair of them that they had never strayed so far from the traveller and its light; so far into the underworld of the solar system.

She’d spent countless hours in dive bars in the city and outside of them, spent her time exploring humanity’s golden history but this was different, far different. She was going into a warzone that didn’t face each other head on, but instead relied on subterfuge and blades stabbed into another’s back.

The reef approached quickly as Dane brought her ship down to a landing speed, running herself through the motions of bringing the ship in close enough to transmat.

“I’m getting an emergency beacon!” Cheesecake piped up suddenly, looking around. Several nearby screens lit up with the beacon, pinging a location on the reef. 

“Who? Is it Ryder?” Dane asked, pulling her ship in for a harder drop-off than she would’ve liked.

“No... it’s PB. Not far from the transmat zone.” Cheesecake fell quiet.  
The landing was harder than Dane had expected, landing into a run as she powered herself to the beacon. Fear gripped every muscle of her body as she ran at a full sprint, pulling her hand-canon free just in case. 

The beacon led Dane to a abandoned building that hung off the edge of the asteroid, suspended over deep space.

Dane cursed as a pair dregs came out of the building, charging at her. She laid one down with her better devil’s as she approached, sliding under the swing of the other and burying her knife into its back. She spared no time, jumping the wall that surrounded the building with her light, taking out another dreg as she landed. All the time her fear grew exponentially, settling as a clawing mass in her stomach that pulled on the darkest corners of her mind. She tried her best to force it down as Cheesecake hacked the door controls.

As soon as the door was open she burst in, coming screeching to a halt as soon as she entered the room.

PB was there, just barely keeping a shield around her shell. Before her stood a giant of a captain, hissing at her as she came in. Her stomach sunk as fear clawed its way up her spine.

Mirr, Callen and... I need you

Ryder’s words echoed in her mind, racked her brain and stirred her heart forward. 

And then it happened; her void light running over whole body in a cloak that pulled forward a blade in each hand. She felt power like she never had, coursing through her very veins. It washed away the fear as she charged forward, jumping over the captain’s shots, cutting his arm clean off; his weapon clattering to the ground as she pushed forward and drove her blade through his chest. She summoned all the light she could muster until his body was vaporised and nothing but his gun remained.

Dane stumbled forward as the void light washed away, catching herself against one of the storage containers. It took her a moment as the world came rushing back to her, her gaze snapping up to the small, wounded ghost that weakly hovered before her.

“PB!” Dane yelled as she pushed herself back to her feet. “What happened?!” Dane asked, frantic and panicked.

“Ryder’s... gone.” PB whimpered. “She hid me before they showed up, but I didn’t know what to do! They kept her alive and took her away!” PB cried, her shell trembling. “I ran and ran but I couldn’t find anybody and, and, and....” PB stammered.

“Hey, it’s going to be okay now. We’re here and we’ll get Ryder back together.” Cheesecake hummed, doing his little dance around PB. Both the ghosts had always been close, closer than her and Ryder. “Can you still feel her light?” he asked, slowing his dance down until he came face to face with PB.

“It’s weak... but still there.” PB whispered. “She’s somewhere on the other side of the tangled shore...” PB added, hopelessness etched into every word she spoke.  
“We’ll go get her back, together!” Cheesecake retorted, looking to Dane who nodded in approval. She’d get Ryder back, one way or another.

“No!” PB yelled, her sudden outburst shocking them both. “Uldren Sov was there and this... giant eliksni... no scorn baron. He destroyed crimson before they took her! They’re too powerful!” PB explained, her little light dimming as she sunk in the air.

“We’ll find a wa-“ Cheesecake began to argue, but was cut off by Dane.  
“No, no she’s right.” Dane retorted, her gaze falling on the gun of the captain nearby. “I’m not Ryder and I’m certainly not Asta.” Dane whispered, doing her best to pull her gaze away from Cheesecake’s saddened gaze. It was then that an idea struck her, realisation dawning on her.

Instead, she drew her gaze to PB. “But, I’m not the one who has to take on the scorn barons!” Dane yipped, hopping up and down as a plan formed in her mind. “PB you said Ryder’s still alive right?” Dane asked, looking between the two ghosts.

“What are you getting at...? Oh!” Cheesecake questioned, her plan suddenly dawning on him.

“We don’t have to fight, well maybe we’ll have to fight some of them, but PB you said Ryder was wounded when Uldren found her right?” Dane asked.

“Yes...” PB replied, catching onto Dane’s plan.

“Then if I can get you close enough without us being detected, you can heal Ryder!” Dane laughed, clapping her hands together. “You can imagine how angry she’ll be! She’ll tear that place apart!” Dane laughed. Her plan wasn’t entirely fool proof, but it was good enough to go on. 

“We... we can do it then!” PB chirped up, the brightest glimmer of hope shining in her eye.

“When you’re ready, lets track her light down. I’m sure we’ll get her back.” Dane promised, a soft smile warming her features. She let the ghosts talk among themselves for a moment; being separated from their guardian wasn’t easy and she didn’t want to rush PB back into danger.

She found herself drawn to her better devil’s as she let PB collect herself, pushing the loose strands of her dark hair back. She kept her weapon spotlessly clean, so much so she could see hints of her own reflection in the weapon. She looked...worn. Guardians didn’t necessarily feel physical exhaustion unless they let themselves, but the emotional exhaustion always showed its colors.

They said guardians looked both young and old at the same time and she could see it in herself now. Ryder looked the same, a young complexion but eyes that told of countless lifetimes of war, fighting and dying. Perhaps, Dane thought, that was why so many guardians rarely showed their faces.

She also wondered if it was why Ryder was... Ryder. If those hollow, pained eyes of hers was the cause for their often strained relationship, for the relentless training and endless missions. It was hard for her to really picture just how long Ryder had walked the earth. 

“We’re ready.” PB suddenly said, pulling Dane from her thoughts. 

“Good. Let’s get your guardian back.” 

\--------------------------------------- 

Ruins of old Norway, the dark ages.

The snow fell gently on the battlefield, a war-torn snowy fjord where the cliff face rose high into the ashen gray skies and several downed ketches floated in the rivers that separated the ancient stone giants.

Two lightbearers stood on opposing sides on the shore the great fjords, where the earth had been scorched and battered with craters. From the wayside another lightbearer watched on, relaxed back on the frozen grass that crunched under him as he shifted his weight.

Orion, a bulky and muscular man, stood on one side; his plated armor making him appear even bigger than he already was. Even then, he was a larger than life character, with a booming voice that echoed throughout these ancient lands. His dark skin was covered in bright, white tattoos and his hair was pulled back in tight cornrows with a mighty beard. 

Opposing him was the Warlord Ryder, her armor was mostly covered in a long fur cloak but even from where Ozar-4 sat he could see the battle-scars that had charred and dented the armor. Her cloak blew in the icy winds alongside her long, blonde hair; some of it pulled into braids that fell over her shoulders.  
“Somebody who fights like that can only be the great warlord Ryder!” Orion boomed, placing his fists on his hips in a proud stance as he called out to the stoic, unflinching warlord. Ozar-4 chuckled at his antics, considering he’d already died three times to the warlord’s hand.

Despite this, Ozar’s electric gaze curiously remained on the warlord. She was everything they’d heard and more. They’d watched her fight as the fallen attempted to raid the settlement that remained mostly undamaged at Ryder’s back; at least until Orion could no longer contain his excitement and joined in. Ozar had been shocked when she cleaved him in two without a second thought, before turning her axe on the remaining fallen. 

His gaze had turned to her people in the haze of the combat, who stood proud and stout behind their walls. He watched as some continued about their daily tasks and others manned the walls; they trusted Ryder. Through and through.  
It was a good sign.

“Why have you come.” Ryder asked, her powerful voice dominating the landscape. “The un-dead are not welcome in these lands.” Ryder warned, hefting a massive axe over her shoulders as if it weighed nothing. Its blade burned with a feverish solar light, ready to lay waste to any foe in her path.

“To challenge a great warrior!” Orion boomed, pointing his outstretched hand at the warlord with a grin big enough to match the stars above. 

“Then you’ve already lost.” Ryder deadpanned, turning her back on Orion who gawked in mock-horror. 

“This is where I come in.” Ozar mumbled to himself, jumping from his perch. He didn’t even make it to the ground before a massive wave of solar light was thrown towards him; he countered it by summoning all of the void energy he could muster, forming it into a bomb to push back against the warlord.

The resulting explosion sent him into the ground hard, coughing and spluttering. He didn’t need to cough... but somehow his electric body made him. He hadn’t quite figured that bit out yet. “Wait!” He yelled, seeing that axe raised high above Ryder’s head. He had planned for so many variables, but he had massively underestimated her strength. He wasn’t sure he could counter another attack. 

The warlord paused.

“My friend Orion here is a bit on the side of brash if you hadn’t realised.” Ozar explained, pulling himself to his feet and dusting off the mud and snow from his robes. “We actually come seeking refuge.” Ozar admitted, holding his hands up as if he were surrendering. “We’ve travelled many miles to meet you.” Ozar added, searching for any sign of reaction from the almost motionless expression of the warlord.

There was a silence that rose between the three of them as the warlord’s gaze was cast between them, searching them, judging them on some unknown scale. Ozar gulped, another involuntary action, as her gaze fell on him and remained there as the icy winds howled.

“You have the same cursed power that I do. You do not need refuge, you cannot die, you have no need to eat or sleep. I have nothing that you do not already posses.” Ryder eventually retorted, her icy blue gaze narrowing dangerously as she looked between the pair.

“In truth, it is not us we seek refuge for.” Ozar admitted, letting his hands drop to his side. His ghost appeared next to him then, the little light flitting around between the pair. Among some of the other lightbearers they’d met,showing one’s ghost was a sign of peace and humility. He wasn’t entirely sure how far this tradition had travelled but he hoped she’d recognise it. His ghost projected a holographic display of a small settlement, its walls broken and in disrepair. “It is the people we swore to look after. We may have the same power, but we do not possess the ability to protect them like you can.” Ozar explained, his gaze subconsciously finding his feet; half buried in the bloodied mud. 

There was a silence that carried itself on the wings of the howling wind then. The warlord looked on in suspicion, unbelieving of such a story. “Together, the three of us can protect them better than any of us alone could!” Ozar added, in desperation as he searched her for any sign of a reaction. 

The great axe was lowered from above her head then, resting upon her shoulder in place. The warlord began to turn away, a frown crossing her features.

“Please!” Orion yelled then, the desperation overriding any bravado he once had in his voice. The giant of a man fell to his knees, tears streaming down his face. “We fight day and night to protect them, but those monsters, the fallen, they are relentless! I cannot watch more of my people die by their cursed hands!” He yelled, his hands finding the mud as he lowered his head. “We’re... not strong enough.” Orion admitted, his hands clenching into fists full of mud. “Please...” He begged.

The warlord paused, her long fur cloak blowing in the wind. It felt as if old gods watched these lands, passing judgment on its people, running a silent howl into the farthest corners of the fjord. Ozar noticed that she looked up to a man atop the walls, a human maybe in his early forties. After a long pause, he nodded.  
“A warrior who can bow his head and ask for help will always be greater than the one who puts his pride before his people.” The man atop the wall spoke, a sense of familiar acknowledgment crossing his features.

“How far are your people?” Ryder asked, her back still turned to the pair. Despite the decision of the man atop the walls, Ozar made not the she still seemed suspicious of them. 

“They’re not far, a couple of miles upriver, we’ve been travelling under the cover of darkness for some weeks now.” Ozar explained, his downfallen gaze finding hope in the powerful warlord.

“Take one of our longboats and go collect them. We will make preparations.” Ryder responded, pointing to one of the longships that sat at the small port. They were built out of the wreckage of old ketches, strung together with whatever could be salvaged; but surprisingly sturdy looking. 

“Thank you...” Ozar whispered, bowing his head. It was a kindness he was unsure if they were deserving of, but he wasn’t about to question it.

“If either of you step out of line, I will not hesitate to extinguish your light.” Ryder warned before she returned to beyond walls of the settlement. Her ghost popped up as the gates opened, looking back at the pair briefly as they talked amongst themselves.

Ozar and Orion shared a look a relief between them, wide grins and happy laughter appearing quickly after. Ozar could’ve cried if he were able to cry, which was not a feature he was capable of. Instead, it felt as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders; their long journey was almost over, with a new chapter emerging before them.

That night they felt the warmth of a great hearth, their people finally able to eat a good meal and enjoy a night of restful sleep. They spent the night talking with the leader of the town, a man called Hurum, and organising temporary living arrangements until their settlement could be expanded. It had felt reassuring to finally have a chance at the safety they had promised their people so many moons ago, even if it was under the watchful, suspicious gaze of Ryder.

Her trust would be much harder to come by.

\-----------------------------------------  
Present day, the tangled shore.

Tracking Ryder’s light hadn’t been as easy as Dane had hoped, but they eventually found their way to a small fortress built inside one of the higher asteroids that had been adjoined to the reef. There was clutter and machinery littering every corner of the halls that she’d snuck her way through after killing two of the guards out front.

It was also filled to the brim with scorn, far more than she could ever handle by herself. She kept her better devil’s close as she crept through the halls, ducking out of sight and letting the various guards pass her by.

“It’s not far now.” PB whispered as they neared the central chamber of the building, keeping to the upper pipework on the second floor. The scorn seemed almost bold in their confidence, perhaps coming to a realisation that there wasn’t going to be a retaliation to their actions. Dane hoped they were wrong, still feeling a crushing sense of failure in her heart. This entire time, she felt as if she was failing Cayde’s legacy, as well as putting Ryder in danger.

They should all be here. Tearing the reef apart until they found Uldren Sov.  
Although, a part of her understood Commander Zavalla; she had long looked at him the same way she looked at Ryder, endlessly wondering what they though, where their thoughts led them and what resided in the darkness of their hearts.  
Dane was pulled from her thoughts when she came to a ventilation grate for the central chamber, peering through the slots to see a sight that made her stomach drop. 

“Ryder...” Dane whispered in shock.

The titan was there, slung up in chains and covered in her own blood. Pieces of her broken and shattered armor still clung to her, her head lulled forward and dripping from a fresh wound to the side of her head where one of the countless scorn who filled the room had struck her.

Two barons stood before her, chittering and leering at her as they pandered to the crowd. It made Dane’s blood boil, forcing her to keep her calm and think of a solution to the problem at hand.

As she looked around the room for any form of distraction, she spotted one of the generators in the far corner of the room as an idea sprung to mind. She took a moment, letting a long shaky breath fall from her lips before she kicked the vent out; dropping down with it.

This was it. Bury her fear, bury the anxiety, put on her mask.

There was a momentary stunned silence as she landed on the stage that held Ryder, mocking grin adorning her features. “Ladies and gentlemen!” She laughed, to a round of chittering and roars from the scorn. Keeping an eye as PB moved out of sight, keeping her hand firmly just above the grip of her weapon.  
She eyed them, cursed with dark magic, as they moved in uneasy circles around the stage, seething rage burning in the very air of the room. They didn’t attack, waiting instead on the words of the barons.

“Asta...?” Ryder mumbled somewhere behind her, weakly lifting her head.  
The tension reached boiling point in the room as the first baron took a step closer to her, the one she recognized as the machinist. She took that moment to pull her weapon free and fire off two quick shots into the generator, firing a third into the nearest scorn that charged the steps at her.

Darkness bathed the room in an instant, a myriad of confused yelling and chattering that fell painfully silent as a warm glow of light washed over the stage. It vanished only moments later as silence fell on the faint darkness that swallowed the room.

Then the chains snapped, ringing out through the darkness.

A few moments passed in the darkness until the slow ignition of a burning axe crafted from the hallowed solar fires of a warlord of the dark ages bathed the hall in an dreadful fiery glow. Dane watched on as a bellowing roar echoed off the walls of the fortress, a warrior of the light charging forward with burning rage.

The first to fall was a great baron, the machinist, cut in half by the great axe; her corpse burning away into smouldering embers of light and leaving behind a well of golden light that burned away the darkness as she charged forward. More fell by the explosions of solar fire and the blade of her axe before she reached the hangman, who struck her faster than Ryder could reach him; throwing the titan into and through the metal doors that had barred them in there.

“That’s our chance out of here!” Cheesecake piped up over the comms, but Dane’s feet were already on the move. She dropped two more scorn, ducking under the strike of a third as she bolted for the door. The purple glow of the reef was almost blinding as she ducked out of building, stopping in her tracks as a scorn was thrown against the wall with a sickening crunch.

She took the moment of confusion to cross the courtyard, throwing her knife into one of the scorn who charged at her. She ripped the blade free as she approached, spring boarding off of it and taking out another scorn making its way to Ryder. As she landed in a roll, she sliced the chest of a third, making sure to keep her back to the wall as they poured out of the fortress.

It was then in the mist of battle her gaze found Ryder, crushing the skull of one of the scorn in her hand as she made her way towards the baron; dragging its lifeless corpse along the ground with her. It scared her.

Light seemed to burn through her body, marking it with brilliant golden-orange lines that crossed over her like veins. This time though, there was no calm assessment of her situation, no measured response, no quick finish to the fight. Instead, there was an almost animalistic rage that sent fear spiralling down Dane’s spine. It was a side she’d never seen, watching as her great axe cleaved one of the baron’s arm clean off, before her shoulder met his chest with a sickening crunch. The beast landed on its back promting a retreat from the remaining scorn, darting off in every direction they could.

Dane watched on in horror as the axe was raised high, burning bright enough to hurt her eyes; she persisted none-the-less, drawn to the sight.

Then, the axe came down in one fell swoop. 

The reef fell silent, the world around Dane drifting away into nothingness as the baron’s corpse burned away into nothingness. 

Dane couldn’t move, her feet frozen to the ground as she watched the fire slowly die down; moments before a large crack reached her ears. She stumbled back as the ground split not far from her, cracking away from her very foundations as the fortress sank violently. It’s structures snapped and failed as the very asteroid split in two, drifting away into deep space.

She looked to Ryder who collapsed to her knees, her shoulders twitching before she let out a pained, agonising scream. Tears fell to the titan’s cheeks as she screamed, inches away from the split edge; her voice casting out into the twilight nothingness that drifted in from every side. Her fists finding the rock underneath, cracking under the pressure and force of her punch.

“Ryder...” Was all Dane managed as the titan fell silent, her hands dripping with fresh blood. She let herself fall back, uneasy breathing rolling off of her chest as she gasped for air that wouldn’t come. 

“I failed you...” Ryder managed to stammer as her shoulders fell limp.

“You didn’t!” Dane was quick to correct her, but she couldn’t move her feet; still frozen in place as the titan remained unmoving. It was... fear that gripped her, she realised then that now she didn’t fear the scorn, or the barons but she feared... Ryder. She feared that anger, that hatred that burned inside of her. It was violent and corrosive, lost upon countless lifetimes spent walking a solar system they barely felt they belonged to. She realised then, she realised what she was looking at was the hatred in herself, the anger at Ghaul, the anger at Uldren; she was looking at what she would become after a life as long as Ryder’s.

“I remember seeing their light fade away, the life leave their eyes for the last time...” Ryder whispered in words that didn’t make sense to Dane. She watched as the titan rose to her feet, towering over her. She was wordless, limping towards her.

Dane found her feet guiding her back, stumbling and falling to the ground as Ryder passed her by. She wanted to stand tall, to find reason for Ryder to be proud, to stand in the light alongside her; but the titan stood above her, bloodstained face framed by pain, sadness and anguish. “I’m a failure, I’ve dragged you out here far out of your depth so you can rescue some old titan who should’ve died years ago...” Ryder whispered, offering her outstretched hand.  
Dane took it with a trembling grip, feeling little to no relief as the titan dragged her to her feet with ease; but this was her moment. Her moment to push past the fear, to forge her own path, to truly step out of the shadow of her formers.

And she did.

She wrapped her arms around the titan as she stood, feeling her twitch in her grip but fall quiet as they stood there. It took her a moment to truly process it, even as the powerful titan’s shoulders rose and fell in quiet sobs. “They’re all dead...” Ryder whispered, over and over; she was broken, defeated by her own demons. There was a bitter sadness in her weak, trembling voice that both felt out of place that broke Dane’s heart; she’d never heard her even remotely close to this before.

“I’m here, we’re all still here. Mirr, callen... me. We haven’t left you yet.” Dane whispered, resting her hand atop her knotted, tangled and bloodstained hair. There was a tight grip on her cloak, a trembling hand that couldn’t let go. Somewhere deep down, she realised it wasn’t just her there, but so many others. Countless faces she’d never recognised that weighed on the conscious of the old titan; those both born in the light and those who survived the collapse.

Dane couldn’t see them, but she could feel a heavy weight above her. One Ryder had carried for more years than she could truthfully imagine, the will inherited from warriors, survivors, teachers and students that had finally broken the back of the proud defender of the last city.

They stayed like that for a while, below a cosmic sky of brilliance until Ryder was ready. They took their time in silence as Dane called their ships, looking on in worry at Ryder; who sat in an almost pained silence. There was a emptiness to her glassed over gaze that set doubt into Dane’s mind. “Once we’re back at the tower, you can rest. You’ve been through so much, so much more than I can put into words. We’ll work through this together. All of us.” Dane explained, helping the titan to her feet.

“No, I can’t go back there. Not yet.” Ryder mumbled, leaning on Dane as they walked towards the ships.

“You’re not staying here.” Dane said defiantly, watching as Ryder forced herself forward. “I’ll drag you back home if I need to.” She added, receiving a dry chuckle from the titan.

“You sound like Asta...” She mumbled, taking a long breath before looking to her friend. “I... need to come to terms with myself. With everything.” Ryder whispered as she reached the ramp of her ship. “Go tell Zavala that three of the barons are dead, that the spider will help any willing guardian to take down Uldren. They will jump at the opportunity to take the prince down.” Ryder stammered, her voice still weak and hoarse. 

“And what about you?” Dane asked, her expression softening as she watched the titan gingerly climb the ramp. 

“I’ll be on earth, but I need to go to where my home is. I need... time.” Ryder paused, searching for understanding in the young hunters hazel eyes. An affirmative nod from her, the titan smiled weakly. “I’ll send you the coordinates.” She half mumbled, unsure if she’d actually follow them up.

“I’d find you anyways.” Dane retorted, trying her best to flash a weak smile that fell flat as she watched the titan disappear into her ship. She wouldn’t leave her alone in this.

They flew together back to earth with barely a word spoken between them. PB had informed her over their comms that Ryder was already asleep and left an encrypted message with their ships log track. She watched as Ryder’s ship changed course, moving off towards the west along the golden horizon as the sun began to glow in the distant sky.

Later she’d track the coordinates to a fjord in old Norway, long forgotten and abandoned, but for now she had much explaining to do to the commander she could see waiting for her below in the hangar bay. She gulped, looking at the stern expression that crossed his features.

But her mind was elsewhere, ridden with worry for their stalwart protector.

**Author's Note:**

> TL/DR Ryder is a broken mess. I'm sorry if there are any inconsistencies with the lore, my knowledge of it is maybe a little more than surface level. This was mostly written in one sitting, mostly unedited as well so I apologise for any inconsistencies in style but ultimately this is for fun and fun is not spending hours pouring over every sentence to write it better. Read the pre-work for my novel for that.
> 
> Also please stay safe during these times. Happy new year.


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